You :)

I love you and always will.
Every bit of you
Just the way you are:
warm,
funny
quirky
irritating
You make me smile
You warm my heart.
You put a glow on my face

You make my emotions feel safe and secure.
You bring out my true spirit and make me strong
You the one from whom I do not have to hide myself
You let me be myself unabashedly.
You I trust most.

I know you love me the most
Every bit of me
Just the way I am
kind
funny
weird
loving
You love me sincerely, passionately, endearingly
You share your fragile emotions with me
For you trust me the most.

I know you love me
For I can feel your love
Yes, I can feel your love.

A glimpse of another life

She felt shattered not because of the contemptuous behaviour (a part of her everyday life for a long time) but because of the unexpected nice and rather loving behaviour meted out to her even if for a period of days that can be counted on the fingers of a single hand. In that short period she got a glimpse of another life - of what her heart was capable of receiving and giving ; the kind of space they could have shared and the kind of person she could have been .


Ps: When the extraordinary becomes a part of everyday life, it becomes the ordinary

Contentment is :

Getting up early to see the sky change colours

A session of soul cleansing music

Getting lost in magical prose

Letting that forbidden blob of chocolate melt in your mouth

Watching a sleeping child

Brand Barbie

The Barbie world is overwhelming - especially the popularity of this adult looking doll creating an adult world that has become a necessity for constructing the gender identity of little girls. You can resist it but you cannot escape the pink world of Brand Barbie as it stares you in your face through brand bags, pencils, lunch boxes, shoes, accessories and even gift wrapping papers. Barbie finds her way into her house if not through you bit through the well meaning but thoughtless gift givers. I think my son has a couple of things - a bag / a toy piano gifted to him - pink in colour with a smiling Barbie logo.Brand Barbie has created a girlie world of shared interests, language and identity. The brand has taken over and how- if you are not into it you cannot belong - you are an outsider.

II

My friend who has a 3 year old daughter has strictly been trying to avoid a Barbie-free up bringing. Steer clear out of the pink world of Barbie is the motto. The conversation went on about the difficulties of doing so and her daughter's possible alienation from peers with a shared interest in the Barbie world. So she encourages her daughter by saying “There is nothing wrong in being different, " Be proud to be different” - and so on went the conversation .

A few days later my son watching an ad about a new Barbie doll avatar says to me, "Mamma please buy me a Barbie?”
I am surprised at this car crazy boy’s request and ask,” Why do you want a Barbie? Do you like dolls?”
He replies, “No, not that much.”
“Then why?”
"Well none of the boys in my class have Barbie – so I want to be different – its good to be different. "

When I was in high school, one of our classmates lost her father. It was an untimely death and we were shocked. It was discussed in between classes and at recess. We were solemn at the prayer meeting held at school and felt deeply for our friend.

A few days later things were back to normal. As usual we were sitting on the staircase at recess and chatting and laughing when one of our classmates, known to be quirky was climbing up the stairs looked at us and said, "Shree's father has died ... and here we are enjoying life."A stunned silence followed and we gladly welcomed the loud bell announcing the end of recess.

We were young and so we felt guilty but we need not have. Life does go on and that it how it should be.

Split milk

My space obsessed 5 year old son was watching a Sci- fi movie with me. Post movie conversation as follows:

'There are real aliens right?'
'Well some think so ...'
'They look like the ones in the movie? '
'The movie showed imaginary .'
'I think there are aliens many galaxies away but they will never come to earth .'
'Why not? '
'There is a big problem. They think our galaxy - Milky Way- is just milk split in the sky - that's the problem. They may think it is stinky spoilt milk and never come near it. So there will never discover earth.' :(

Where do I look?

I am blessed with this problem of not knowing how to cast or hold my gaze in certain social encounters. This is what I usually do :

Scenario 1 :
Encounter a stranger. Likely place - lobby of an apartment. Glances meet, they dart away after a brief smile and then eyes are again lowered. Thereafter, I ignore the person and study my feet or if waiting for the elevator stare at the floor numbers being displayed. Alternatively, I have the unfocused look that does not focus on any thing particular but somewhere above the head.

Scenario 2 :
If the situation demand that both and the stranger you are circumstantially waiting for something for a long period of time – at clinics /tubes station/bus stops/ or traveling in public transport then there will be occasional glances from both sides – may be a brief smile or a nod. The there is definitely the checking out of your corner look.

Scenario 3:
This one happens to me often and it is the worst. The person is familiar but not an acquaintance- perhaps lives in the same apartment, walks down the same road or goes to the neighbourhood shop. You spot the person at a distance and dread having to acknowledge. You must do it at the right time. If your glances have locked and smiles have been exchanged too early then you have the problem of not knowing when to break it. The worst is when your glances meet and then you smile holding the glance until you suddenly drop or shift your eyes to break it. Ouch! It is so awkward.