Frankly my dear...

Your mother never thought of me. She thought it was my duty to raise her. Yes it was but it was not my duty to give her my life. My life is my own has a place in it. Your mother felt she had the right to live and I had the duty to slog. Yes I slogged but not because she could wave her accusing finger at me. Not because she could turn around and tell me that it was supposed to do all that for her that I owed it to her cause I had her.

Your mother …she never felt that I can have a life of my own and I could if I wanted to and I had the opportunities …if I wanted to I could have done things for myself ...I could have had the pleasure of enjoying life for myself. But I did not …I think I made a mistake because she took it for granted and turned her back on me. She felt I owed it to her…she turned her back on me when she found her own two feet.

I threw away my life for her…I don’t think I had to do it just because I had her. I could have left her abandoned her given her away …told her to shut up...kept her waiting at night changed homes randomly…changed partners when I wished. But I did not …and you keep this in mind…don’t throw your life away for some ungrateful children. Keep your life in your hand…let them fit in. They can.. they will …you will end your life or else you will loose your all. Loose your all.

Now why did you come here? Your daughter’s marriage? Which one is this?

Random lines

He was showing her his childhood pics – on her request.
“You were so cute –love that curly mop. U turned into such a freak”
“Don’t call me that”
“F-r-e-a-k”
“I said don’t call me that”
“What will u do?”
“I will kiss you.”
She stared at him and let it out slowly and softly, “freak”.

The wait

Battered I stand at your door, knocking timidly
Waiting anxiously for your footsteps
There is darkness all around and in my heart

Wisecrack

You fall in love just once
every other time you just imitate.

It hurts no more

It hurts no more
Just a dull ache in your heart
A choking in your throat
You know the feeling will pass
Ease away with tears
It hurts no more
When you're ‘comfortably numb’.

How can you suffer in silence and yet crave for freedom ?

Overheard

Father : Everyone makes mistake. It is a part of human nature. No one is perfect. Only God is perfect.

Son: So what's wrong with wanting to be God?

Right now ...

dashed
crushed
lost

trampled
trodden
sore

discoloured
damned
damp

You

Deep down in your heart
You believe I repent
You think you know
For you know me so well
Yet it tortures you that you could not guess
How my mind worked that summer
And you may spend a whole life time tying to
Figure out what went wrong in understanding me…
May be you were too busy loving me

It was that time of the year.
The time of grand festivities.
The time you look forward and plan for for months.
The time you wore best and joined in community revelry.

That year highlight of festivities was screening of a movie on a giant screen.
That year was special for she had turned ten.
That was was a landmark for she was granted the freedom of going out with her friends

It seemed like though everyone was out on the street.
The excitement was palpable.
She was having the best time of her life. And then ...she decided to go home for a quick sip of water.

Mom was at home lying down on the bed.
"Aren't you coming out? Everyone is out there. It will be fun"
A gloomy voice came from the bed,''I don't like all this anymore. Too many people and their aimless chatter. I rather stay home and read."

She stood there shuffling her feet ...feeling a sense of guilt surge through her. "Sure ? They are screening a movie".
'That holds no attraction for me', came the reply."You go if you want to.I am not stopping you."
''Ok , I am leaving..."she said in a faint voice.
"All right".

She lingered around for a few more moments. Should she stay home or should she go? The voices and the sounds floating in through the balcony had her out of the door before she knew it. She ran down the stairs - her heart thumping. Unknown to her, she also ran down the stairs taking with her the burden of guilt about enjoying life that was to weigh her down forever.

:) :) :)

The call was from him
Hello?”
“She is getting married today.”
“How do you feel?”(Stupid Q)
“Dead.”
“I’ll come over.”
“No - want to be alone.”
Then you wouldn’t have called.”
Silence …
“I’ll be there.
I hang up …throw my arms in the air with a “Yeah” and rush out to be with him.

You and I

Have forgotten
Tenderness
Indulgence
Patience

Have learnt
Bitterness
Sarcasm
Antipathy

Fight for
Dignity
Time
Space

You are beautiful

The nurse had grown fond of him. She would often check on him and stay a while to chat with him . That day she noticed a bottle of baby lotion next to his bed and impulsively picked it up and began applying on his face – something he has hated since he was a tiny baby. He made a terrible face and asked her to stop. The nurse said, “ I am making your face more beautiful.’

After she went away, he looked up with tears in his eyes, “Mamma, am I not beautiful already? Why does she need to make me more beautiful?’ After a pause, ‘Does she think that a cream can change my face?’

Communiqué

‘What did you think of their house?’
‘Nice'
‘I loved the way they have used the blue theme – everything is in different shades of blue –from upholstery to curios, crockery, crystals – all carefully chosen’
‘Frankly the house is a showpiece not a home.’
‘Its arty - Even we can afford to - but we don’t bother’
‘Need to be practical with a kid around – damage control is easier’
‘Its impossible talking to you’
‘If you feel that way then change things’
‘I don’t want to blindly ape them’
‘Then don’t’
‘Fine’
‘Fine’

‘…Actually, you are right I think it looks at bit silly – monochromatic’

Shining star smile down at me

Mamma will you always be there?
Sometimes I may have to go.

Mamma will you come back?
Yes my dear you know I will I always do.

But what if someday you don’t come back?
Then look at the night sky.
The brightest star there will be your Mamma
Smiling down at you.