Where do I look?

I am blessed with this problem of not knowing how to cast or hold my gaze in certain social encounters. This is what I usually do :

Scenario 1 :
Encounter a stranger. Likely place - lobby of an apartment. Glances meet, they dart away after a brief smile and then eyes are again lowered. Thereafter, I ignore the person and study my feet or if waiting for the elevator stare at the floor numbers being displayed. Alternatively, I have the unfocused look that does not focus on any thing particular but somewhere above the head.

Scenario 2 :
If the situation demand that both and the stranger you are circumstantially waiting for something for a long period of time – at clinics /tubes station/bus stops/ or traveling in public transport then there will be occasional glances from both sides – may be a brief smile or a nod. The there is definitely the checking out of your corner look.

Scenario 3:
This one happens to me often and it is the worst. The person is familiar but not an acquaintance- perhaps lives in the same apartment, walks down the same road or goes to the neighbourhood shop. You spot the person at a distance and dread having to acknowledge. You must do it at the right time. If your glances have locked and smiles have been exchanged too early then you have the problem of not knowing when to break it. The worst is when your glances meet and then you smile holding the glance until you suddenly drop or shift your eyes to break it. Ouch! It is so awkward.

Just dreaming

I had a bizarre dream last night about her, him ,you and me. In my dream, I was getting married to him. I was happy and completely at peace. There were some friends around me, and then my mother came with my bridal fineries. I went with her to get ready.

While going up the stair I glanced from the window and saw her standing with a man and a small girl. She was looking at the house and then at a paper. She nodded at the man beside her and they started to walk towards the house. My heart was pounding as I saw them disappear under the window.

Then you came and told me “She has come.”
“Why?”
“She just wanted to meet me. Her husband and her step daughter are also here.You need not go down”.

After a while, you came up again. There was pain in your eyes. You looked at me and smiled, “You look beautiful.”
I wished you would not look at me with so much pain in your eyes. I could feel the sadness.
“I will stay if you want me to.”
“No you go – you will be happy’”
“But…it breaks my heart to see you so sad. Will you be happy if I stay?”
"I want you to be happy"
"That you won't be if I get married...right?"

We stood looking at each other ....and…. prodding of tiny feet at my back woke me up - never got to see the end.
What did I choose ?
Did I stay with you?
Hope dreams have episodes!